Keep only the good stuff

While I was packing up Christmas ornaments, my son picked one up and began to study it.

"My step-grandmother gave me that," I told him, "the lady who died recently. I keep it on the tree to remember her."

"Why?" he asked.

"Why what? What do you mean, why?"

"Why do you want to remember her?" he asked.

As is so often the case in dealing with him, I felt as though I'd fallen down a rabbit hole.

"Because she's gone," I replied, "she died. She's gone forever."

"But she was mean. Your step-grandmother was mean. Why would you want to remember her? You should get rid of the ornament."

"No," I responded, "that's my stepmother. Her mother was a good person, kind and generous and loving."

"But your stepmother and stepfather are mean," he emphasized.

In the midst of trying to sort all of this out, it struck me how straightforward his attitude is: if someone is crappy and mean to you, you just excise them and all reminders of them. Ditch the Christmas ornaments and anything else they might have given you. Keep only the good stuff.

It's not a bad thought. Maybe I'll try it. There's a hat hanging in my laundry room, a wide-brimmed hat festooned with dust, polyester lace, fake flowers, and fake pearls in a shade which would make an oyster nauseous. Every time I look at it I think of my stepmother, and not in a good way. I hate the damned thing, but I've hung on to it for years because I reasoned that it took my stepmother fifteen minutes or so to glue it all together, and it was something she was proud of having made.

I'll bet I have a garbage bag which is just the right size.