Passive aggressive communication

Here's a quickie before bed.

Last Friday, we had a class field trip at the park around the corner from my house. While we were there, my son found a big pile of branches and began fiddling around with them. At first, I assumed that the groundskeeper had trimmed the branches and assembled the pile. Then a grandma type materialized and approached my kid. Evidently they were "her" branches, ones she had collected (stolen) from the park. Of course, my son was supposed to figure out that this abandoned, unlabeled pile of branches tucked in the shrubbery directly by the play area belonged to her.

After attempting to chastise him, an effort interrupted by my suggesting that she needed to discuss the issue with me, she went over to her granddaughter. The little girl was standing on the small grass area between a fenced-in little kid area and the parking lot. This section of grass is very exposed and public, not to mention all of ten feet from the restroom. There were tons of people around, including tons of kids playing in the immediate vicinity. So what did grandma do? She pulled the child's pants down, pushed her down into a squat, and had the kid cut loose on the grass.

Meanwhile, my kid, puzzled by all of the above proceedings, wandered over to see what was going on. I shrieked, as loudly as I could, "Son!!! Watch out for the pee!"

Immediately every head in the vicinity - maybe 30 adults - swiveled to stare at the woman who was having her kid pee on the grass. A good many shook their heads disapprovingly. Some muttered and pointed.

I must say that it was very satisfying in an underhanded way. Not the sort of thing I usually have the presence of mind to do. However, I really don't like strangers approaching my child or chastising him. I also don't approve of people letting their kids relieve themselves in an area where others are playing, especially when a bathroom is just a few feet away. Presumably most children who can be taught to squat can be plopped on a toilet or at least be taken to a less conspicuous area! (Walks in the wilderness are a different matter, of course.)

Later I told my husband, "This is why there are females! Most men just aren't bitchy enough to handle this sort of situation." A rather sexist and generalized statement, to be sure, but one I felt deeply at the time. At the same time, I lament my tendency toward passive-aggressive communication when conflicts come up. It isn't the healthiest trait in the world.

Imagine my … delight? concern? something … at the Passive Aggressive Notes blog, which specializes in all manner of nasty messages which people don't quite have the guts to say to each other's faces. I particularly enjoyed this account by a lady who correctly thinks her physical state isn't the business of her coworkers.