The boy's father gave him a bath. Afterward, my husband and I were having some nice desultory conversation about Devo's Energy Domes when we were interrupted:
The boy: "Open the door! I need to go in the back yard!"
Husband: "No."
The boy: "I need a leaf!"
Husband: "It's late at night. Why do you need a leaf?"
The boy: "So I can cover my penis and my testicles."
Sure enough, there he was, clad in what he likes to call his "party suit" (aka "birthday suit"), hands discreetly placed over the pertinent area.
Husband, shaking his head in disbelief: "Son, you'd need a fig leaf. We don't have a fig tree back there."
After some more discussion which I did my best to ignore, the door was opened and a leaf of some variety was procured. Not a fig leaf, but evidently an acceptable substitute.
Now the boy wants tape.
My husband is muttering "Dang it, Bobby!" even though our son isn't named Bobby and "I don't want to know. It's better that I don't know."
Some people have to go to a museum to experience the surreal. I don't even have to get up out of the chair.
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11 comments:
Hhahahahhaahhaahhhaaaaaaaaa!!
You've made my day!
what she said
What they both said.
uh huh. tape. I hope he gave him duct tape.
Just out of curiosity, in addition to throwing the name "Bobby" around, has the boy's father ever been known to say, "It's nine a.m. and already the boy ain't right"?
Also, Some people have to go to a museum to experience the surreal. I don't even have to get up out of the chair belongs on a t-shirt. And if it's ever on one I'll be the first to buy it.
Nor do I, apparently. I just have to come here.
(Still laughing.)
I'm impressed at the anatomical accuracy of your boy's vocabulary.
Had he just taken a bite of an apple?
Sorry can't write properly for laughing!!!
LOVE IT......rotfl.
So, the Garden of Eden, just re-enacted in your house, just like that. Extraordinary.
Aunty, Dorothy and Jazz - Glad I could give you a giggle!
Kathy - LOL. Naw, he just gave him a little loop of cellophane tape. I'll keep the duct tape idea in mind for the future, though.
Christopher - Ho yeah!
Heart - Glad you enjoyed the post
Isabelle - Yeah, for whatever reason, I've never cared for labels like "pee pee," "hoo ha" or whatever parents are currently teaching their kids. I remember my brother and sister being instructed to call their genitalia "my peanut" and "my bah-dee." The latter was particularly bizarre, as though the part was so repellent or shameful it couldn't even be given a name others would understand. So, yeah. It's been clinical names all the way. No doubt he'll pick up the slang terms soon enough. That, or I'll get an alarmed phone call from another parent because he's told another kid that a baby grows in mommy's uterus after mommy and daddy have combined a sperm and an egg.
SAW - No apples! We do let him play with anatomy books, though.
Sooziii - 8>)
Stomper - Yeah. Pretty soon we'll have to be arguing with him in favor of eating from the tree of knowledge. "No, son! You don't want to grow up stupid! There are smart people in India who'll be glad to have your future job!" Seriously, I wonder where he came up with the leaf idea. He does all kinds of weird stuff, though, so there's no telling.
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